I must have been about 8 when the teacher, quite angrily, showed me the newspaper article. "Look...", she said, as she folded the tabloid back to expose one page only; "...this girl has CANCER, and SHE'S still smiling!"
That memory sticks with me, over 20 years later, because it's evidence to me that I haven't always been able to smile at life. From an early age, in fact, my natural expression was a sullen one. Why though? In my case, it was for two reasons.
Firstly, I couldn't recognize any reasons to smile. It is a common enough characteristic of the young that, largely due to a lack of life experience, they often are unable to appreciate all the gifts they have, and instead focus on the things they've been denied, or are unable to attain. Ironically, this can sometimes be exacerbated for children living in more developed countries, such as I was.
Secondly, I was too afraid to smile. I felt that predators surrounded me, and that my best chance of defense was to warn them off with a glare... Long before I knew Christ, I had been wrongly taught from a number of sources, to FEAR life. I had been convinced, and convinced myself, that everything and everyone was a threat. I was constantly on the alert to scare off threats, and so I never really smiled. My face got used to this- the muscle memory in my cheek bones began to capitulate, and after a while my most comfortable facial position was one of slight aggression.
To cut a long story short, the surprising truth is this: I had to TEACH myself how to smile at people. For some people, smiling at others comes naturally, and to these people the idea of not knowing HOW to smile, or not feeling confident enough to do so, may sound absurd.
But is it really so hard to comprehend? After all- what IS a smile? To me, whenever you look into someone's eyes and smile at them, what you're subconsciously showing them is a signal that you have a sense of peace 1) with God, 2) with other people, and 3) with yourself. I'm not saying that in order to smile you need to have complete peace with all three all the time- obviously that's impossible in our current form. But you must have a sense, an IDEA of that internal peace.
And so, it makes sense that the complete opposite is also true- that if you DON'T have even the slightest clue of peace with those three, then smiling frequently would become difficult, and far from a natural reaction.
The next question is: How did I teach myself to smile? It won't surprise you to know that I wasn't alone- Jesus has been guiding me ever since I started searching for Him daily. He is, of course, the vital key to unlocking this challenge. I spoke earlier about internal peace with God, with others and with ourselves. Alone, this internal peace would be impossible to achieve. Only Jesus can bring a peace that is big enough to cover all three bases.
On a couple of occasions, when I've mentioned this point, skeptics of Christianity have been quick to jump in, saying "But there are plenty of people who AREN'T Christians, but who show enough internal peace to smile a lot. How do you explain THAT?"
The answer is two-fold:
1) In Genesis 1:27, we read:
The answer is two-fold:
1) In Genesis 1:27, we read:
So God created mankind in his own image
Because everyone has been created in God's image, everyone is capable of doing good. Regardless of race, religion or belief in God, we all have implanted within us the ability to give to charity, to help the sick, to volunteer, to feel peaceful, to feel happiness, to smile. But the difference between a Christian and an athiest, for example, is that the Christian gives the glory for their good works back to God, whereas the athiest does not acknowledge God at all. Therefore, it is perfectly possible for a person to do good things, to help his fellow man, to love his neighbour, to smile... and yet still not truly know God.
2) Once we have explained that everyone has within them the capacity to perform God's work, we must then answer the question, "So why follow Jesus, as opposed to other religious leaders and thinkers?". If we are to believe that Jesus is who He says He is, then we also have to believe that everything that He says is 100% true, and He is the only one who has all of the truth all of the time. And so, in John 14:6, when He said "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me", then we must agree that the only way to God is by letting Christ Himself into our lives, and allowing Him to guide us. Your belief in Christ's authority is the core and essence of your entire faith as a Christian, and everything you think, say and do will depend on that (for more information, read last month's blog, "Who Do You Believe Jesus To Be?").
So finally, WHY is it so important to smile?
- As previously mentioned, smiling is associated with confidence in God, others and ourselves, which in turn creates internal peace. And in a world where peace is so often lacking, and so desperately sought after, there can be no more attractive quality in a person than a frequent, genuine smile.
- Smiling is a demonstration that fear and anxiety have been replaced by the love of Christ, and also that you appreciate the gifts from God in your life. A good saying to remember is: "If you've got time to worry, then you've got time to pray. If you've got time to complain, then you've got time to give thanks!"
- A smile brings with it an invitation for someone to smile back. And almost every time this invitation is offered, it is equally reciprocated.
- A smile has a calming effect on people. We all have our own doubts, lingering anxieties and worries sometimes. We often look to other people to see how they react, in order that we might have a better sense of perspective. If we can reassure others, at every possible opportunity, that there is nothing to worry about simply by smiling, then they will greatly appreciate that.
- Finally, and arguably most importantly, it is the best way to start imitating Jesus. Albert Einstein once said the following in an interview:
"I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene. No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus"
It's true- when you read the Gospels, you feel Jesus's personality pulsating through it. And the impression that I get of Jesus from reading the Gospels is not a solemn, stony faced, scowling fire-breather. He was someone who drew people in, sometimes just with a look or a few words. It's easy to imagine that He smiled easily, peacefully, and frequently, and that might be one of the reasons why so many people, from the very first moment they saw Him, wanted to be around Him.
As disciples of Christ, part of our duty is to spread happiness into the world, and it's much easier to do this if you know how to share a smile with people. In Matthew 5:14-16, Jesus said:
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| A city on a hill, like Toledo in Spain, cannot be hidden from view, especially not at night... |
Remember that, just the original disciples, you too have received good news. When you receive good news, you uncontrollably smile about it. Your face cannot hide what you know to be true in your heart.
Obviously, the reasons why people do or don't smile are hugely complicated. Several factors are involved, and will vary greatly from person to person. But as a general rule, I'd encourage you to take every opportunity to smile. In many ways, life if so lacking in opportunities to do so, and so every opportunity to share a little joy, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, should be taken.
I'm not saying that you're going to turn someone to Christ just by smiling at them. But what simpler, easier, more practical way could there be to start showing people that Christ's light burns within you...
...than with a simple smile...? :)
